not really Nyquil, I'm too paranoid to take that since I'm still pumping (and feeding little miss the tiny amount she still takes) but the benadryl/sudaphed cocktail I took better knock me out soon.  Yes, my friends the yuck is back.  4/5 of us have it.  Nate is cold free and Audrey is doing the best of us.  Ethan and I have red noses and Jason walks around saying "I got goobers, get 'em out".  Mind you, after 3 days of kids at home last week and Monday being holiday this week, everyone is still going to school despite it--they're fever free but crabby enough that I'm not dealing with them here while I"m miserable and suctioning Audrey every few hours!  Silly Lauren and her comment about how I handle everything so well...Friday night I was calling Stace to talk some sense into me when I was seriously losing my mind with the boys.  I did get my massage and it was wonderful but apparently it wasn't enough to get me through that last evening without daddy.  Single motherhood would do me in is all I'm sayin. 

 

I have a bunch on my mind tonight but since my ears feel like they are going to burst and my head is swimming, I'll just quickly share my big plans...it's really not that big of a deal, I got so many inquirirng phone calls and emails that this is going to be somewhat anticlimatic now but anyway, we're excited so here it is...(shame on those of you who thought we might be pregnant, seriously??!!)

 

We are throwing Miss AJ the birthday party she so deserves!  A celebration of this year and the people that got us through it--you all who followed her, prayed for her/us, and continue to stay with us on this crazy journey.  So, email me if you can save the date (May 5th) and you'll get an invite when I get them out.  We are beyond thankful for our girl and we know part of her will to be here came from the people who came together for her.  She's such a special little sprite, her giggle even makes me forget how crappy I feel! 

 

More next time,
Jenn

 

 

And thanks to Erin, I will be getting one tomorrow!  Audrey's fav NICU nurse is coming out tomorrow while the boys are in school to give me a break and as soon as I got off the phone with her this afternoon all the stars aligned and I got a perfect time appointment with my favorite therapist.  I say she's my favorite because the one who got me through my pregnancy has left to have her own baby (or something, they were kind of mysterious about it, weird) and the one time I've gotten away since Audrey was born was with the one I'm seeing tomorrow, so she's my favorite.  Our insurance covers 24 visits per year and I swore I was going to take advantage and then the year ends and I still had 10 left, ugh!  Please someone keep reminding me this year to make it happen. 

 

Ah, this week...really quick, kinda blah weekend; Ethan starts Monday off with Strep, Jason gets it by Tuesday night, I was in charge of J's school party (which he couldn't attend because of strep), Nate blows off Valentine's day and then leaves this afternoon for an unexpected trip to Flint, MI.  Did I mention I need a massage?  Thanks to Trisa and her kiddos for bringing Aunt Jenn wine tonight; I'm always such a good example for the kids.  I'm on my second glass though and it ROCKS. 

 

On a brighter note, Audrey had a well-check today, yes you read that correctly--we went to the doctor willingly without any wheezing, puking, etc!  It was quite nice.  She's a lollipop:  90th percentile head, 20th height, and 5th weight but still on all of her curves (growth chart curves for those of you not tied to them!) and has gained 12 oz in 3 weeks.  She's a whooping 15 pounds 14 ounces!!!  Although her motor skills are delayed, she's tiny, and doesn't eat much liquid orally, she's quite the superstar!  Dr. Sickler was clearly pleased.  I just couldn't be prouder.  Who puts up with such physical limitations (her left lung is pitiful to say the least, swallowing is a nightmare not to mention digestion, and she has a hole her stomach) and does it with a smile like that?  LOVE that girl, just love her.  Her brothers are pretty amazing too. 

 

We had planned on venturing to San Antonio this weekend for our nephew's 5th birthday; the week has kabashed that plan.  Happy Birthday Reed!   We'll be thinking about you and wishing we were at your cool Rodeo party. 

 

I have some big plans to share next time but need to get in a few hours before the "daddy's not here so we won't sleep" starts happening! 

 

Talk soon,

J 

6 full days and nights without daddy and everyone is okay; we'll be a lot better when we wake up and he's here though!  Papa did an amazing job covering; man my stress level would be lower if I had that kind of help during the day all the time.  Audrey LOVES her Papa too, I just realized that I didn't even get any pictures of how sweet she was with him, aw man!  In addition to reaching for him to hold her (something generally only reserved for Nate or I), she even ate for him (no liquids don't get too excited, but food!).  It was really great.  My dad is a superstar at running our household...everyone gets up, fed, and chauffeured efficiently, laundry and dishwasher get methodically cycled, the staplers that have been jammed for months get fixed...amazing!  The nights have been rough though, apparently no one can sleep when daddy is gone and I can't run AJ's feed without messing something up (one night I left a valve open and she was in a puddle of milk before I realized it at 2am and another I programmed the pump wrong and she only got 20mls until 2:30 when I realized it wasn't going anymore)--these things haven't happened in AGES and then 2 in one week, strange.  The one night I think she was slated to actually sleep through was the night J decides to have a nightmare or something and is screaming at 3am!  I swear when they are teenagers I'm going to periodically do night wakings just for payback.

 

I just had a minute and  wanted to share a bit of our week quick but now I'm fading fast so I'm going to go catch some Z's !  Audrey is doing amazingly well, she's still congested but sating consistently 97 or above.  She's such a riot these days too; her latest party tricks include waving, high fiving, and clapping.  Her smile is beyond contagious and the boys have been finding new ways to make her giggle all week.  Quick story...she woke up with a scratch on her face and E says to me, you better apologize to her mom, you didn't cut her nails right and now she has an owie--he is SO protective of her, I love it.  What was weird to me though was how horrified I was all day by that little scratch, um hello she's got scars 3 times as long and has had such painful things done to her that she was on a constant narcotic drip!  Who knows, just more of my crazy I guess.  I hope I'm not like this her whole life. 

 

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love,

Jenn

Robert Earl Keen's big hit was not a good omen for me yesterday morning.  I had just left the house for AJ's 8am Pulmonologist appt after getting E off to school and coordinating with my dad to get Jason to school and our car to the shop (I was driving my dad's) and was concentrating all my energy on Allison as her bronch was scheduled for that morning.  NO sooner than I had cleared my head, Robert Earl comes on the random station my dad had on in his car.  I knew then that Allie was going to be lasered and my crazy ass issues with Audrey's eating were not going to be resolved anytime soon--why? Well, because the road goes on forever the party never ends, that's why!  Stace and I were BIG Robert Earl fans back in the day (pre kids, no worries kind of back in the day!)

I may get to my issues with Audrey's eating later and I may not, I haven't really drafted that blog entry in my head yet, I'll just summarize with I'm having a hard time with the inconsistencies, tube-feeding in general, and her size.  I may not get to it tonight though because today was a great day and I have so much else to share that my craziness may have to wait! 

 

My dad is in town because Nate is in Seattle at Bill's big geek fest.  Tonight at dinner Ethan announces "Microsoft is the best work place"; really?  "yeah, they make Xbox" well, they've kept us out of the poor house too kiddo, so you're right and if that means daddy has be gone for the week, it's a small price to pay.  It's gone pretty well so far too, Nate's been gone since 8am Sunday and we're all still relatively sane.  My dad rocks! 

 

Audrey is doing well.  Still hanging on to that damn cold, but doing it like a superstar so we're okay!  She gained 6 oz this month despite it too.  I got to see her lung CT yesterday finally and let me say it wasn't pretty at all but her doctor assures me that with lungs like that she has no business looking as wonderful as she does but since she does that it what we are to judge her by.  He even gave her a green light to not come back for, wait for it......6 months!  Doesn't get much better than that.  He was very kind and gracious giving me lots of credit for her status saying that apparently her care has allowed her to overcome her physical limitations, but we all know Audrey Jane is a force to be reckoned with regardless of anything we do!  I appreciated his kindness though because I really have been struggling lately with whether or not I really give her the care she requires.  I guess I just need to reread Lauren's crazy post gushing about my mothering, she's so silly! Of course she didn't see crazy mommy that day, I save that for when were alone, doesn't everyone?! 

I miss Lauren being in Texas, we had a fantabulous visit.  She's such an amazing young woman!  She had a rough day yesterday though, so send her some thoughts...

 

Jennifer posted on Sugar the other day about NILMDTS, (Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep) please read it.  It was strange too just because the support group I follow (but don't really participate in which is a whole other story!) has recently been "talking" about the organization too--I just found the coincidence interesting.  Anyway, I think somewhere down the road when I can finally wrap my head around what we've gone through this year and have some actual time on my hands, part of my CDH mission will be making sure EVERY NICU has a contact with this organization. I will NEVER forget telling Stacy to make the calls just in case and more so, my first conversation with Jen when I still didn't know if Audrey was going to make it or not.  I'm so grateful an organization like this exists, but I'm also so sad that it has to.   Someday perhaps it won't. 

On another Sugar note, I've gotten a few requests lately to see our photo session again.  I'm not sure I can do that with the CD copy I have, but I will find some time to find out.  It is amazing!  I'm hoping to have Jen come for AJ's first birthday but haven't gotten around to actually thinking that far in advance yet.  It's only 3 months away though, do you believe she's 9 months??!! 

 

Me neither!  I'm going to run now as there is laundry to fold and baby clothes to organize--our nephew arrives in April!  Nate's brother Nevin, who also has a birthday on Thursday (Happy Birthday Uncle Nevin!) and his wife will be giving our sweet Madison a baby brother, so all the boy clothes are going their way.  I know I'm going to cry when I open some of those tubs, where have my babies gone??!!  Speaking of, I have some GREAT Ethan stories to share and of course Jason continues to keep us laughing.  Next time! 

 

Talk soon,

Jenn